Honestly, the book Juice did not make much sense to me. I'm not entirely sure if all the stories are supposed to be connected or if they are all separate. I tried finding common links between the four of them but I had trouble. The only link I could come up with was one of the main themes. Loneliness.
The fourth story "First Sleep" was really confusing for me! I don't have a clue what that story was about. I read it a couple times but I couldn't figure out who Mrs. Gladsman was or what that character symbolized. I couldn't understand what the author meant by numbering sleeps. At first I thought it was very literal. I thought the first sleep or the fourteenth sleep waas the actual number of sleeps that the main character was counting but I was confused as to where or when the character started counting sleeps. I wondered if the character was counting sleeps that had dreams and if the dreams all had something to do with this Mrs. Gladsman character but I didn't think that was right either because of the way the main character said he had to rescue his lover in sixth sleep almost like it was a routine.
The story was very choppy and I couldn't stay in one place for a very long time. It was hard to keep up with the main character. The whole story seemed like one big dream to me. I kept changing and jumping around the way dreams do. The main character was suddenly on the street outside of the grocery store with his head bent, waiting next to an old man when he was laying in bed with his lover just one page before. The story felt like a dream because of the way it jumped around and.. well because of the way it didn't make much sense to me. It's like when someone dreams and the dream kind of goes all over the place yet it is still centered on the dreamer and still somehow it all makes sense to the dreamer. Then if that dreamer were to try and write down the dream the way he or she had experienced it and incorporated his or her own feelings but didn't actually try and explain it... The story is like that. I didn't really like it.
The first three stories definitely had a lonely feeling to it. The first one was sad. I thought at first all the townspeople died due to some sickness or something especially because the main character talks about spirits and the way spirits are associated with death. But on the last page the word exodus is there. I had to look it up but that told me that everybody just left. Then, I was confused as to why the main character wanted to be there and why the main character is living in the mountains and picking fruit like a chipmunk. I understood the main character wanted home again and the idea of bringing it all back with those artifacts, or just old stuff people brought, is full of hope but everybody had moved on and found a different home. They didn't die out. However, there is one line that I really relate to that says, "I only had to think of other people to get physical pleasure." At first, that line was really weird but after I stared at it for a minute, I liked it. It reminded me of when I walked my dog on a warm, cloudless day. I took a deep breath and it felt like the oxygen just carried peace with it and I physically felt the sensations in my stomach. It was nice. I feel like the main character might have felt something like that being in those mountains. I am confused as to why the main character ever left though if that place was home and why the main character is so sure the everybody is coming back. It just reminded me of being in denial.
The third story reminded me of the the first one a lot. I had a lot of the same feelings. I actually had to detach myself from the story when I got to the part about the main character living on a train because it was really lonely and I could relate, but I didn't want to. I had the same questions though. Why did you ever leave if that was your home? Why did it take so long for you so go back if you missed it so much? Did you really expect that everything would still be the same after fourteen years? If you left, why was it so saddening that everybody and everything that made it home for you is gone too? If you left, it makes sense that others would too. Now, it is home for someone else.
Other than loneliness, I definitely got a "time goes by" feeling. Things change. People change. Places change. That's life. People just have to adapt. I feel bad for the characters that don't have that sense of home anymore because everything changed and they didn't even know it. Time doesn't stop. Nothing stops changing. As the main characters changed, their roots changed. The places they came from changed.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Sunday, May 19, 2013
2. Fiction & Feelings
I started reading the "Seeing is Believing" article and my mind hopped onto a fast moving train. I completely agree with the very first paragraph. Feeling is essential. It's unhealthy, even dangerous not to feel. The line, "I dont feel anything is said in fear.." really meant a lot to me. I've never thought about how correct that statement really is. I know on a personal level how that is. I've said those words and I've asked questions like "What does that feel like again? Happiness?" and I've never said it in a confident or cocky way. I've always said it in a way that carried the fear, the distance, the sadness. Not feeling anything is scary. It's all very tricky. Not feeling anything is bad so you want to make sure you do. However, naturally we all feel afraid so we try to avoid feelings but in my opinion, everyone should know how impossible that is. Yet, we all still try which is very unhealthly.
Additionally, it isn't just the bad feelings we run from, but also the good ones. I spent years running from bad feelings all because I had no idea how to approach and deal with them. It made it that much harder to actually do so because it seems like through the years, the weight of those bad feelings just got heavier and they just got stronger and eventually they would have consumed me, had I not dealt with them. I've never had experience with running from good feelings before. I think I'm in a stage now where I might be experiencing that so I can't comment much.
I know I've experienced a range of emotions. Because of my past experiences, I know I've felt things that others have not and I know that others have felt things that I haven't for the same reason. However, I know that there are people I do share those uncommon feelings with -- those feelings that arise in special circumstances. Not only does it set you apart, but it also connects you with others. Being able to experience emotion is a powerful thing and everybody does it differently. Naturally, as humans, we don't just want to keep it to ourselves either. We want to share it with others. We do that by writing.
I feel like the easiest way to do that is by writing fiction. I read the paragraph that incorporated all the five senses. The story was simply a person who walked into a shop and seeing that no one was around, stole some food. You get to experience the senses and with that, brings emotion. I agree that the biggest part of writing good fiction is making the reader feel. That creates a doorway to pull them to this made up world. That makes it so much easier to imagine and see this world in the readers mind. That's the way you get lost. That's the way you escape. I never realized that before. I never realized that was the reason why some stories took so much effort to escape into and others were effortless. For example, the stories I read for fun or even the ones that I write myself are so easy to escape into. I don't even try. I just open the book and I'm not where I used to be anymore. For other short stories that I mostly had to read in high school English class, I could never participate with ease. It took so much effort to read the story and to actually understand it. In English class, I couldn't feel anything that was going on. There were no feelings and the senses weren't teased. There was nothing to help pull me in. I had to force myself in and keep straining to stay in so I could understand.
I am definitely going to consciously try and incorporate the five senses into my stories and try to evoke emotion more powerfully but not too much. I've never deliberatly done it before. That could possibly be the next step I have to take for figuring out my style of writing. Right now, I am at a stand-still with my writing and I knonw that I can do a lot better. I feel like right now, my writing is different but not what it could be. I hope putting more emotion provoking content into my writing will help me and I can start developing my writing styles and well as my writing skill.
Additionally, it isn't just the bad feelings we run from, but also the good ones. I spent years running from bad feelings all because I had no idea how to approach and deal with them. It made it that much harder to actually do so because it seems like through the years, the weight of those bad feelings just got heavier and they just got stronger and eventually they would have consumed me, had I not dealt with them. I've never had experience with running from good feelings before. I think I'm in a stage now where I might be experiencing that so I can't comment much.
I know I've experienced a range of emotions. Because of my past experiences, I know I've felt things that others have not and I know that others have felt things that I haven't for the same reason. However, I know that there are people I do share those uncommon feelings with -- those feelings that arise in special circumstances. Not only does it set you apart, but it also connects you with others. Being able to experience emotion is a powerful thing and everybody does it differently. Naturally, as humans, we don't just want to keep it to ourselves either. We want to share it with others. We do that by writing.
I feel like the easiest way to do that is by writing fiction. I read the paragraph that incorporated all the five senses. The story was simply a person who walked into a shop and seeing that no one was around, stole some food. You get to experience the senses and with that, brings emotion. I agree that the biggest part of writing good fiction is making the reader feel. That creates a doorway to pull them to this made up world. That makes it so much easier to imagine and see this world in the readers mind. That's the way you get lost. That's the way you escape. I never realized that before. I never realized that was the reason why some stories took so much effort to escape into and others were effortless. For example, the stories I read for fun or even the ones that I write myself are so easy to escape into. I don't even try. I just open the book and I'm not where I used to be anymore. For other short stories that I mostly had to read in high school English class, I could never participate with ease. It took so much effort to read the story and to actually understand it. In English class, I couldn't feel anything that was going on. There were no feelings and the senses weren't teased. There was nothing to help pull me in. I had to force myself in and keep straining to stay in so I could understand.
I am definitely going to consciously try and incorporate the five senses into my stories and try to evoke emotion more powerfully but not too much. I've never deliberatly done it before. That could possibly be the next step I have to take for figuring out my style of writing. Right now, I am at a stand-still with my writing and I knonw that I can do a lot better. I feel like right now, my writing is different but not what it could be. I hope putting more emotion provoking content into my writing will help me and I can start developing my writing styles and well as my writing skill.
Monday, May 13, 2013
1. First Half of Fluorescence
When I first read half of Fluorescence, I got really frustrated. I couldn't figure out much other than what was explicitly there. I read it again a few times more and I started thinking that maybe that was the point. It may not be correct but I think that so far there might not be that much to get.
As for the content of the book, I've put together so far that the main character, who I believe is a she, has had to move away from her home due to a war. It is also apparent that she is alone. A couple times in the book it leads one to think that she has one other person with her, perhaps her significant other. The main character has mentioned a few times that she has no one to call. This makes a reader wonder why. Where is her family? Were they victims of the war?
As for the structure, I think it isn't supposed to make sense because it is written in her mind. It's her way of thinking and maybe she can't really form a complete thought with everything that is happening to her. Her mind keeps jumping from thought to thought not lingering long enough to finish most of them. As the story goes on, her thoughts begin to string together and they start making more sense, but in the beginning they were really confusing.
On page 17 the line, "everything was foreign back home" really stood out to me. It seemed like an oxymoron. Home is supposed to be anything but foreign but she says that everything is foreign. I started thinking that maybe the war made it foreign. Maybe all the bombs and fatalities made it foreign. I realized how sad and how lonely that thought was. Home is supposed to be familiar and welcoming. I went to Trinidad and Tobago for a while and it was great but once I returned home, I took a deep breath as soon as I got off of the plane because Michigan air is so much different from Trinidad air. It was familiar and it felt good to be home again because I'd missed it more than I realized. To not have home anymore or to have it turned into something else, something that makes it foreign, unrecognizable would be so horrible. That line really packs a punch when you think about it. It really gives you an idea on how the character must really feel. The character lets the reader into her mind more than she lets the reader into her emotions.
As for the content of the book, I've put together so far that the main character, who I believe is a she, has had to move away from her home due to a war. It is also apparent that she is alone. A couple times in the book it leads one to think that she has one other person with her, perhaps her significant other. The main character has mentioned a few times that she has no one to call. This makes a reader wonder why. Where is her family? Were they victims of the war?
As for the structure, I think it isn't supposed to make sense because it is written in her mind. It's her way of thinking and maybe she can't really form a complete thought with everything that is happening to her. Her mind keeps jumping from thought to thought not lingering long enough to finish most of them. As the story goes on, her thoughts begin to string together and they start making more sense, but in the beginning they were really confusing.
On page 17 the line, "everything was foreign back home" really stood out to me. It seemed like an oxymoron. Home is supposed to be anything but foreign but she says that everything is foreign. I started thinking that maybe the war made it foreign. Maybe all the bombs and fatalities made it foreign. I realized how sad and how lonely that thought was. Home is supposed to be familiar and welcoming. I went to Trinidad and Tobago for a while and it was great but once I returned home, I took a deep breath as soon as I got off of the plane because Michigan air is so much different from Trinidad air. It was familiar and it felt good to be home again because I'd missed it more than I realized. To not have home anymore or to have it turned into something else, something that makes it foreign, unrecognizable would be so horrible. That line really packs a punch when you think about it. It really gives you an idea on how the character must really feel. The character lets the reader into her mind more than she lets the reader into her emotions.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Intro
My name is Ariel Powdhar. I'm 18. My family is from Trinidad and Tobago but I was born here. I love to write and I do it all the time. I want to be an author when I'm older as well as an Aerospace engineer. I plan on transferring to the U of M for my junior year and finishing my degree there.
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