The book as a whole was not as I expected it to be. I think I liked it... It was written so much differently than what I usually encounter. It almost had that fiction style of writing to it, but the reader could tell that it wasn't. It also had a poetic feel to it because of the way the book it organized. For example, there were short little stories in between the big ones. I'm not sure which gave more information though. The bigger stories like "The Wind Did It" gave me a lot of information, about other characters instead of the main character. The short stories, I feel, are the ones that want a reader to use a lot of inference and once the reader understand the idea, he or she get's an open perspective on the main character more than the reader would with the short stories. The story "Live Wire" had a lot in it. It really reminded me of a poem the way a reader can take it literally, because it probably happened that way, but the reader knows that it could stand for something completely different. There was definitely some ambiguity in my opinion and I tried to get the most out of it.
Personally, "The Wind Did It" is probably my favorite part of the story. I related to that part of the book so well. Bernard Cooper definitely took me with him into the story. I got upset at the part when his father had cut out everything from his past, including his own son, all for his new wife that he got a divorce from. I got emotionally attached. I've experienced something similar to that and I got mad. When B. Cooper talks about being in the car with his dad, despite everything else, it felt timeless. Even though the author stated ages, and described how his hair was receding, it still felt that way. Even when his dad was trying to recall what part of his body he had removed and when B. Cooper told him the name of a red mole, it STILL felt that way. I'm not exactly sure what it was. Maybe it was the feeling that came with riding a car and talking with his old man. It felt calm, peaceful, and just all around comfortable. It also felt fragile because they had recently started talking again and B. Cooper didn't want to jeopardize his new relationship.
Speaking of jeopardize, when he and his dad were watching jeopardy together, I thought that part was little strange. Or maybe a lot strange. It was so weird the way the author described the sensation when his dad was scratching his scalp. It honestly made me uncomfortable. I tried relating it to when I was a little girl and my mom and I shared a bed, because at the time I didn't have one, and while I was falling asleep she would brush his fingers across my forehead into my hair. I liked it when she did that. It felt nice to have my mom stroke my hair but it was also the connection we had for a little while. It's hard to describe. Maybe B. Cooper missed it when his dad did that when he was younger so when he did again it made him want to cry. I'm not sure. I can sort of relate but I didn't understand why it made him arch his back or want to wimper..
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
4. Fiction Packet
Honestly, I didn't really enjoy the short stories in this packet. The first one was hard for me to read. It was so choppy. It was really repetitive too. On top of it being hard to read, I didn't understand it either. I didn't like the way the author was referring to them as "us brothers" or "mothers" or "Girl". Girl was used as a proper noun. I didn't like it too much. Maybe I'll like it if I understand it and if I know why the author used the language that way. So far though, I don't know what kind of effect the author wanted. At first I thought it was almost lyrical, but then it stopped flowing well. Or maybe it was always choppy but it worked, until a certain point where the choppiness was too much.
The next story I wanted to write about was the story of the falling girl. My mind kept changing on this one. Firstly, I didn't really understand what was going on. It was not easy for me to understand. However, I tried to get what I could out of it. When the story first started, I just understood that there was a girl on her balcony overlooking this inspiring city that she loves. I got the sense that she wanted more. Not only did she was all the city had to offer but she wanted to be in the center of it. Then, when the author said she was falling, I thought it was just the sensation and she wasn't actually falling and it wasn't a metaphor for anything. I've had that sensation before. I was looked out at a thunderstorm from my porch. I could feel the wind and the mist of the cool rain. The air smelled really good because of the rain. It was the exact definition of fresh air. I felt at peace and content. I could feel the sensation in my stomach and I guess you could describe it as falling if you wanted to.
Anyway, after a few more sentences, I realized the falling thing was a running theme of some sort. Mostly, I was confused because I took the falling as a literal thing. It confused me that she would throw herself off of a skyscraper when she's thinking so highly of this town and this great view. She seems happy. Then she's going to throw herself off of the balcony? What? Then, she starts talking to people and they are asking her why she's in a rush and they are asking her to stop in but she says no. I realized she wasn't committing suicide. I noticed that the sun was going down while she was falling too. While she was falling, she seemed to be having a good time and then when the sun had set completely, everything seemed colder. Nothing seemed as fun anymore. That's when she started noticing all the other girls that were falling and she started comparing herself to them. She also said it was a competition to get to this ball first. Next thing you know, there is this couple saying all they get are old ladies falling past the window.
I had no clue what was going on for a second. I even went back to the suicide thing and thought that when the people were talking to her and she was saying no, was her trying to imagine that people would miss her and they wouldn't want her to go. But then I didn't think that was right the more I thought about it. Now, I think that when she was falling and everybody was telling her that she had plenty of time and she should stop in and she kept saying no, even to a guy she liked, it all just symbolized her going through life. She never took the time to stop and smell the roses. She always had her mind on this 'ball' that was up ahead. I think the ball just stood for anything. Anything that someone would look forward to, or just the future, or a persons idea of what their future should look like. I thought the ball symbolized anything that would take your mind away from the present and focus it in the future so that you miss everything going on around you just so you can get to that one thing. I feel like her life was passing her by while she was falling. While she was falling, she was just going through it super fast without really enjoying it. I feel like in the end she never actually got to the 'ball.' would've take a lot longer, maybe she would've even made it to her ball.
I think that she liked falling so fast because of all the attention she got from it. She liked having people try and stop her and talk to her and she liked being able to tell them no because she had somewhere else to be. After awhile she didn't even know how to stop anymore and the author said that gravity was just pulling her away. When the sun had fully gone down I felt like she was going through a midlife crisis, All she wanted was to look better than the other young girls who were falling also. She wanted to be fast like them and have great clothes like them. She wanted to be better and get to the 'ball' faster. I thought that this was a little sad especially because it's true. A lot of people just go through life without really enjoying it. There will always be that big goal or destination down the road but a lot of the enjoyment come from the experiences of getting there. You learn a lot and meet a lot of people and you have a lot of fun. It's just life in general. Many kids or teens want to just grow up and have a job and a family or whatever and that's all they think about. They don't take the time they have to enjoy being where they are at the moment. Then before you know it, your life has gone by and nobody knows where it went. You'll get to your destination eventually but there is no reason to rush it. In my opinion, the main character in this story should have taken the stairs. She should've stopped in at every floor on the way down. Even though it seems like that would've taken a lot longer, maybe she would've even made it to her ball.
The next story I wanted to write about was the story of the falling girl. My mind kept changing on this one. Firstly, I didn't really understand what was going on. It was not easy for me to understand. However, I tried to get what I could out of it. When the story first started, I just understood that there was a girl on her balcony overlooking this inspiring city that she loves. I got the sense that she wanted more. Not only did she was all the city had to offer but she wanted to be in the center of it. Then, when the author said she was falling, I thought it was just the sensation and she wasn't actually falling and it wasn't a metaphor for anything. I've had that sensation before. I was looked out at a thunderstorm from my porch. I could feel the wind and the mist of the cool rain. The air smelled really good because of the rain. It was the exact definition of fresh air. I felt at peace and content. I could feel the sensation in my stomach and I guess you could describe it as falling if you wanted to.
Anyway, after a few more sentences, I realized the falling thing was a running theme of some sort. Mostly, I was confused because I took the falling as a literal thing. It confused me that she would throw herself off of a skyscraper when she's thinking so highly of this town and this great view. She seems happy. Then she's going to throw herself off of the balcony? What? Then, she starts talking to people and they are asking her why she's in a rush and they are asking her to stop in but she says no. I realized she wasn't committing suicide. I noticed that the sun was going down while she was falling too. While she was falling, she seemed to be having a good time and then when the sun had set completely, everything seemed colder. Nothing seemed as fun anymore. That's when she started noticing all the other girls that were falling and she started comparing herself to them. She also said it was a competition to get to this ball first. Next thing you know, there is this couple saying all they get are old ladies falling past the window.
I had no clue what was going on for a second. I even went back to the suicide thing and thought that when the people were talking to her and she was saying no, was her trying to imagine that people would miss her and they wouldn't want her to go. But then I didn't think that was right the more I thought about it. Now, I think that when she was falling and everybody was telling her that she had plenty of time and she should stop in and she kept saying no, even to a guy she liked, it all just symbolized her going through life. She never took the time to stop and smell the roses. She always had her mind on this 'ball' that was up ahead. I think the ball just stood for anything. Anything that someone would look forward to, or just the future, or a persons idea of what their future should look like. I thought the ball symbolized anything that would take your mind away from the present and focus it in the future so that you miss everything going on around you just so you can get to that one thing. I feel like her life was passing her by while she was falling. While she was falling, she was just going through it super fast without really enjoying it. I feel like in the end she never actually got to the 'ball.' would've take a lot longer, maybe she would've even made it to her ball.
I think that she liked falling so fast because of all the attention she got from it. She liked having people try and stop her and talk to her and she liked being able to tell them no because she had somewhere else to be. After awhile she didn't even know how to stop anymore and the author said that gravity was just pulling her away. When the sun had fully gone down I felt like she was going through a midlife crisis, All she wanted was to look better than the other young girls who were falling also. She wanted to be fast like them and have great clothes like them. She wanted to be better and get to the 'ball' faster. I thought that this was a little sad especially because it's true. A lot of people just go through life without really enjoying it. There will always be that big goal or destination down the road but a lot of the enjoyment come from the experiences of getting there. You learn a lot and meet a lot of people and you have a lot of fun. It's just life in general. Many kids or teens want to just grow up and have a job and a family or whatever and that's all they think about. They don't take the time they have to enjoy being where they are at the moment. Then before you know it, your life has gone by and nobody knows where it went. You'll get to your destination eventually but there is no reason to rush it. In my opinion, the main character in this story should have taken the stairs. She should've stopped in at every floor on the way down. Even though it seems like that would've taken a lot longer, maybe she would've even made it to her ball.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
3. Juice
Honestly, the book Juice did not make much sense to me. I'm not entirely sure if all the stories are supposed to be connected or if they are all separate. I tried finding common links between the four of them but I had trouble. The only link I could come up with was one of the main themes. Loneliness.
The fourth story "First Sleep" was really confusing for me! I don't have a clue what that story was about. I read it a couple times but I couldn't figure out who Mrs. Gladsman was or what that character symbolized. I couldn't understand what the author meant by numbering sleeps. At first I thought it was very literal. I thought the first sleep or the fourteenth sleep waas the actual number of sleeps that the main character was counting but I was confused as to where or when the character started counting sleeps. I wondered if the character was counting sleeps that had dreams and if the dreams all had something to do with this Mrs. Gladsman character but I didn't think that was right either because of the way the main character said he had to rescue his lover in sixth sleep almost like it was a routine.
The story was very choppy and I couldn't stay in one place for a very long time. It was hard to keep up with the main character. The whole story seemed like one big dream to me. I kept changing and jumping around the way dreams do. The main character was suddenly on the street outside of the grocery store with his head bent, waiting next to an old man when he was laying in bed with his lover just one page before. The story felt like a dream because of the way it jumped around and.. well because of the way it didn't make much sense to me. It's like when someone dreams and the dream kind of goes all over the place yet it is still centered on the dreamer and still somehow it all makes sense to the dreamer. Then if that dreamer were to try and write down the dream the way he or she had experienced it and incorporated his or her own feelings but didn't actually try and explain it... The story is like that. I didn't really like it.
The first three stories definitely had a lonely feeling to it. The first one was sad. I thought at first all the townspeople died due to some sickness or something especially because the main character talks about spirits and the way spirits are associated with death. But on the last page the word exodus is there. I had to look it up but that told me that everybody just left. Then, I was confused as to why the main character wanted to be there and why the main character is living in the mountains and picking fruit like a chipmunk. I understood the main character wanted home again and the idea of bringing it all back with those artifacts, or just old stuff people brought, is full of hope but everybody had moved on and found a different home. They didn't die out. However, there is one line that I really relate to that says, "I only had to think of other people to get physical pleasure." At first, that line was really weird but after I stared at it for a minute, I liked it. It reminded me of when I walked my dog on a warm, cloudless day. I took a deep breath and it felt like the oxygen just carried peace with it and I physically felt the sensations in my stomach. It was nice. I feel like the main character might have felt something like that being in those mountains. I am confused as to why the main character ever left though if that place was home and why the main character is so sure the everybody is coming back. It just reminded me of being in denial.
The third story reminded me of the the first one a lot. I had a lot of the same feelings. I actually had to detach myself from the story when I got to the part about the main character living on a train because it was really lonely and I could relate, but I didn't want to. I had the same questions though. Why did you ever leave if that was your home? Why did it take so long for you so go back if you missed it so much? Did you really expect that everything would still be the same after fourteen years? If you left, why was it so saddening that everybody and everything that made it home for you is gone too? If you left, it makes sense that others would too. Now, it is home for someone else.
Other than loneliness, I definitely got a "time goes by" feeling. Things change. People change. Places change. That's life. People just have to adapt. I feel bad for the characters that don't have that sense of home anymore because everything changed and they didn't even know it. Time doesn't stop. Nothing stops changing. As the main characters changed, their roots changed. The places they came from changed.
The fourth story "First Sleep" was really confusing for me! I don't have a clue what that story was about. I read it a couple times but I couldn't figure out who Mrs. Gladsman was or what that character symbolized. I couldn't understand what the author meant by numbering sleeps. At first I thought it was very literal. I thought the first sleep or the fourteenth sleep waas the actual number of sleeps that the main character was counting but I was confused as to where or when the character started counting sleeps. I wondered if the character was counting sleeps that had dreams and if the dreams all had something to do with this Mrs. Gladsman character but I didn't think that was right either because of the way the main character said he had to rescue his lover in sixth sleep almost like it was a routine.
The story was very choppy and I couldn't stay in one place for a very long time. It was hard to keep up with the main character. The whole story seemed like one big dream to me. I kept changing and jumping around the way dreams do. The main character was suddenly on the street outside of the grocery store with his head bent, waiting next to an old man when he was laying in bed with his lover just one page before. The story felt like a dream because of the way it jumped around and.. well because of the way it didn't make much sense to me. It's like when someone dreams and the dream kind of goes all over the place yet it is still centered on the dreamer and still somehow it all makes sense to the dreamer. Then if that dreamer were to try and write down the dream the way he or she had experienced it and incorporated his or her own feelings but didn't actually try and explain it... The story is like that. I didn't really like it.
The first three stories definitely had a lonely feeling to it. The first one was sad. I thought at first all the townspeople died due to some sickness or something especially because the main character talks about spirits and the way spirits are associated with death. But on the last page the word exodus is there. I had to look it up but that told me that everybody just left. Then, I was confused as to why the main character wanted to be there and why the main character is living in the mountains and picking fruit like a chipmunk. I understood the main character wanted home again and the idea of bringing it all back with those artifacts, or just old stuff people brought, is full of hope but everybody had moved on and found a different home. They didn't die out. However, there is one line that I really relate to that says, "I only had to think of other people to get physical pleasure." At first, that line was really weird but after I stared at it for a minute, I liked it. It reminded me of when I walked my dog on a warm, cloudless day. I took a deep breath and it felt like the oxygen just carried peace with it and I physically felt the sensations in my stomach. It was nice. I feel like the main character might have felt something like that being in those mountains. I am confused as to why the main character ever left though if that place was home and why the main character is so sure the everybody is coming back. It just reminded me of being in denial.
The third story reminded me of the the first one a lot. I had a lot of the same feelings. I actually had to detach myself from the story when I got to the part about the main character living on a train because it was really lonely and I could relate, but I didn't want to. I had the same questions though. Why did you ever leave if that was your home? Why did it take so long for you so go back if you missed it so much? Did you really expect that everything would still be the same after fourteen years? If you left, why was it so saddening that everybody and everything that made it home for you is gone too? If you left, it makes sense that others would too. Now, it is home for someone else.
Other than loneliness, I definitely got a "time goes by" feeling. Things change. People change. Places change. That's life. People just have to adapt. I feel bad for the characters that don't have that sense of home anymore because everything changed and they didn't even know it. Time doesn't stop. Nothing stops changing. As the main characters changed, their roots changed. The places they came from changed.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
2. Fiction & Feelings
I started reading the "Seeing is Believing" article and my mind hopped onto a fast moving train. I completely agree with the very first paragraph. Feeling is essential. It's unhealthy, even dangerous not to feel. The line, "I dont feel anything is said in fear.." really meant a lot to me. I've never thought about how correct that statement really is. I know on a personal level how that is. I've said those words and I've asked questions like "What does that feel like again? Happiness?" and I've never said it in a confident or cocky way. I've always said it in a way that carried the fear, the distance, the sadness. Not feeling anything is scary. It's all very tricky. Not feeling anything is bad so you want to make sure you do. However, naturally we all feel afraid so we try to avoid feelings but in my opinion, everyone should know how impossible that is. Yet, we all still try which is very unhealthly.
Additionally, it isn't just the bad feelings we run from, but also the good ones. I spent years running from bad feelings all because I had no idea how to approach and deal with them. It made it that much harder to actually do so because it seems like through the years, the weight of those bad feelings just got heavier and they just got stronger and eventually they would have consumed me, had I not dealt with them. I've never had experience with running from good feelings before. I think I'm in a stage now where I might be experiencing that so I can't comment much.
I know I've experienced a range of emotions. Because of my past experiences, I know I've felt things that others have not and I know that others have felt things that I haven't for the same reason. However, I know that there are people I do share those uncommon feelings with -- those feelings that arise in special circumstances. Not only does it set you apart, but it also connects you with others. Being able to experience emotion is a powerful thing and everybody does it differently. Naturally, as humans, we don't just want to keep it to ourselves either. We want to share it with others. We do that by writing.
I feel like the easiest way to do that is by writing fiction. I read the paragraph that incorporated all the five senses. The story was simply a person who walked into a shop and seeing that no one was around, stole some food. You get to experience the senses and with that, brings emotion. I agree that the biggest part of writing good fiction is making the reader feel. That creates a doorway to pull them to this made up world. That makes it so much easier to imagine and see this world in the readers mind. That's the way you get lost. That's the way you escape. I never realized that before. I never realized that was the reason why some stories took so much effort to escape into and others were effortless. For example, the stories I read for fun or even the ones that I write myself are so easy to escape into. I don't even try. I just open the book and I'm not where I used to be anymore. For other short stories that I mostly had to read in high school English class, I could never participate with ease. It took so much effort to read the story and to actually understand it. In English class, I couldn't feel anything that was going on. There were no feelings and the senses weren't teased. There was nothing to help pull me in. I had to force myself in and keep straining to stay in so I could understand.
I am definitely going to consciously try and incorporate the five senses into my stories and try to evoke emotion more powerfully but not too much. I've never deliberatly done it before. That could possibly be the next step I have to take for figuring out my style of writing. Right now, I am at a stand-still with my writing and I knonw that I can do a lot better. I feel like right now, my writing is different but not what it could be. I hope putting more emotion provoking content into my writing will help me and I can start developing my writing styles and well as my writing skill.
Additionally, it isn't just the bad feelings we run from, but also the good ones. I spent years running from bad feelings all because I had no idea how to approach and deal with them. It made it that much harder to actually do so because it seems like through the years, the weight of those bad feelings just got heavier and they just got stronger and eventually they would have consumed me, had I not dealt with them. I've never had experience with running from good feelings before. I think I'm in a stage now where I might be experiencing that so I can't comment much.
I know I've experienced a range of emotions. Because of my past experiences, I know I've felt things that others have not and I know that others have felt things that I haven't for the same reason. However, I know that there are people I do share those uncommon feelings with -- those feelings that arise in special circumstances. Not only does it set you apart, but it also connects you with others. Being able to experience emotion is a powerful thing and everybody does it differently. Naturally, as humans, we don't just want to keep it to ourselves either. We want to share it with others. We do that by writing.
I feel like the easiest way to do that is by writing fiction. I read the paragraph that incorporated all the five senses. The story was simply a person who walked into a shop and seeing that no one was around, stole some food. You get to experience the senses and with that, brings emotion. I agree that the biggest part of writing good fiction is making the reader feel. That creates a doorway to pull them to this made up world. That makes it so much easier to imagine and see this world in the readers mind. That's the way you get lost. That's the way you escape. I never realized that before. I never realized that was the reason why some stories took so much effort to escape into and others were effortless. For example, the stories I read for fun or even the ones that I write myself are so easy to escape into. I don't even try. I just open the book and I'm not where I used to be anymore. For other short stories that I mostly had to read in high school English class, I could never participate with ease. It took so much effort to read the story and to actually understand it. In English class, I couldn't feel anything that was going on. There were no feelings and the senses weren't teased. There was nothing to help pull me in. I had to force myself in and keep straining to stay in so I could understand.
I am definitely going to consciously try and incorporate the five senses into my stories and try to evoke emotion more powerfully but not too much. I've never deliberatly done it before. That could possibly be the next step I have to take for figuring out my style of writing. Right now, I am at a stand-still with my writing and I knonw that I can do a lot better. I feel like right now, my writing is different but not what it could be. I hope putting more emotion provoking content into my writing will help me and I can start developing my writing styles and well as my writing skill.
Monday, May 13, 2013
1. First Half of Fluorescence
When I first read half of Fluorescence, I got really frustrated. I couldn't figure out much other than what was explicitly there. I read it again a few times more and I started thinking that maybe that was the point. It may not be correct but I think that so far there might not be that much to get.
As for the content of the book, I've put together so far that the main character, who I believe is a she, has had to move away from her home due to a war. It is also apparent that she is alone. A couple times in the book it leads one to think that she has one other person with her, perhaps her significant other. The main character has mentioned a few times that she has no one to call. This makes a reader wonder why. Where is her family? Were they victims of the war?
As for the structure, I think it isn't supposed to make sense because it is written in her mind. It's her way of thinking and maybe she can't really form a complete thought with everything that is happening to her. Her mind keeps jumping from thought to thought not lingering long enough to finish most of them. As the story goes on, her thoughts begin to string together and they start making more sense, but in the beginning they were really confusing.
On page 17 the line, "everything was foreign back home" really stood out to me. It seemed like an oxymoron. Home is supposed to be anything but foreign but she says that everything is foreign. I started thinking that maybe the war made it foreign. Maybe all the bombs and fatalities made it foreign. I realized how sad and how lonely that thought was. Home is supposed to be familiar and welcoming. I went to Trinidad and Tobago for a while and it was great but once I returned home, I took a deep breath as soon as I got off of the plane because Michigan air is so much different from Trinidad air. It was familiar and it felt good to be home again because I'd missed it more than I realized. To not have home anymore or to have it turned into something else, something that makes it foreign, unrecognizable would be so horrible. That line really packs a punch when you think about it. It really gives you an idea on how the character must really feel. The character lets the reader into her mind more than she lets the reader into her emotions.
As for the content of the book, I've put together so far that the main character, who I believe is a she, has had to move away from her home due to a war. It is also apparent that she is alone. A couple times in the book it leads one to think that she has one other person with her, perhaps her significant other. The main character has mentioned a few times that she has no one to call. This makes a reader wonder why. Where is her family? Were they victims of the war?
As for the structure, I think it isn't supposed to make sense because it is written in her mind. It's her way of thinking and maybe she can't really form a complete thought with everything that is happening to her. Her mind keeps jumping from thought to thought not lingering long enough to finish most of them. As the story goes on, her thoughts begin to string together and they start making more sense, but in the beginning they were really confusing.
On page 17 the line, "everything was foreign back home" really stood out to me. It seemed like an oxymoron. Home is supposed to be anything but foreign but she says that everything is foreign. I started thinking that maybe the war made it foreign. Maybe all the bombs and fatalities made it foreign. I realized how sad and how lonely that thought was. Home is supposed to be familiar and welcoming. I went to Trinidad and Tobago for a while and it was great but once I returned home, I took a deep breath as soon as I got off of the plane because Michigan air is so much different from Trinidad air. It was familiar and it felt good to be home again because I'd missed it more than I realized. To not have home anymore or to have it turned into something else, something that makes it foreign, unrecognizable would be so horrible. That line really packs a punch when you think about it. It really gives you an idea on how the character must really feel. The character lets the reader into her mind more than she lets the reader into her emotions.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Intro
My name is Ariel Powdhar. I'm 18. My family is from Trinidad and Tobago but I was born here. I love to write and I do it all the time. I want to be an author when I'm older as well as an Aerospace engineer. I plan on transferring to the U of M for my junior year and finishing my degree there.
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